the bimbo post

Boredom sets in...

Bored of work, bored of facebook, bored of email, bored of news, bored of cairo, bored of people, bored of traffic, bored of sitting at a desk day in day out, bored of inactivity, bored of smoking all day at the office, bored of doing fuckall with my life, bored of not doing enough, bored of writing shitty corporate bollocks that means zilch, yes, the boredom which usually visits me at the one year mark has set in.

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.

B
O R E D
R
E
D

11 days
They were 45
Now theyre 11
I haven’t been counting
Just been wasting
Now theyre 11
I cant wait and I can
I don’t want them to pass and I do
Its bleak and its exciting
Its sad and its sweet
Its black and it’s the colour of sunrise

Sexual Harassment Delivery

Of course I have my own sexual harassment story to tell, it happened in the pre-car period of my Cairo life. Which by the way has provided me with much needed protection, even though it only takes about 5 mins of driving for me to completely lose it, at least I don’t have to deal with about 90% of the harassment that I did pre-car.

One night as I was walking to the hairdressers a pubescent creature on a bike came up behind me very quietly, grabbed my boob quite casually and pedaled away as fast as his grimy little legs would go. I was so shell shocked I had no idea what the hell I should do, apart from scream profanities at him as loud as I could, in the hope that someone with an ounce of decency would intervene and maybe knock him off his bike (which looking back is what I should’ve done). Nobody even batted an eyelid.

To cut a long story short, I jumped in a taxi and attempted to find him before breaking down and wiping my tears away with tissues offered to me by the nice taxi driver man. A couple of hours later, after getting my hair done (what?), Hori and I went on a manhunt for a cretin wearing a red football t-shirt with the number 10 and some foreign players name on the back, the only description I had to go by. It must have been red t-shirt night.

As always, cont in next post...

Sexual Harassment Delivery 2

A couple of weeks later, this time in broad daylight I was walking home, and some lad again on a bike, started following me, I wasn’t about to let that boob incident happen to me a second time, so I waited till we were face to face, and I asked him “Fee 7aga?” (Is there something I can do for you?) and his reply was “Aiywa, ayez ado something I can’t really repeat on this blog.” (Yes, I would like to put something where the sun does not shine).

So I challenged him to do it, a sort of come on then if you think you’re man enough, he was taken aback by this but kept circling me with his bike anyway, not quite sure what to do next, and this didn’t make his small talk any more polite.. so I made like I was going to run after him, and I was wearing my trainers this time and had every intention of knocking him to the ground and kicking the kaka out of him. So he rode off.

Now there is a reason for this random rant, and seeing as blogger doesn’t usually let me write anything longer than a paragraph, I will continue in za nekxt wan.

Lost

I am always ashamed to admit that i actually watch television, something about being too cultured to waste time partaking of the drug of the nation. But being the lazy sloth-like stay- at-home-mum that i have become, i seem to have a lot of time on my hands.

Time which could be better spent doing something other than writing this blog, or watching two seasons of Lost back to back on dvd.

I have Horizontal Husband (Hori from now on because i'm too lazy to type the whole word) to thank for this, even though ever since we met, Hori has furiously denied any attempts by me to make him watch an episode of anything, stating quite clearly that he has no intentions EVER of watching something thats been divided into episodes and instead will watch movies, thank you very much.

I gave up after trying to make him watch an episode of 24.

Let me tell you something about Hori, it has become quite clear after 3 years of marriage that he is only mentally able to take advice/recommendations from his peers. Advice that i might have previously given him is rendered useless until someone else, ANYONE else, gives it to him. It then becomes magically useful.

So it was that Hori came home one night licking his lips and rubbing his palms over seasons 1 and 2 of Lost, recommended, of course, by a friend from the office.

Anyway...enough domestic disputing, i just wanted to confess that not only am i watching Lost, but that i have become addicted to it and... have visited the official website, eek! Even though the iraqi guy is a torturer, the pregnant woman lost all her baby bulges in 5 minutes and that bloody Kate is always wearing lipstick.

I feel like a Desperate Housewife. The things that life does to you ay? i dunno, let's av a cuppa.

Season 3 is on the way.